Three billy goats
This was a short story I wrote for my twisted fairy tale. I took the Three Billy Goats Gruff story and changed the troll's questions to be the ones from the bridge scene in Monty Python's Holy Grail.
billy_goat_gruff.odt | |
File Size: | 19 kb |
File Type: | odt |
Three Billy Goats
Once upon a time, there were three billy goats. The oldest was named Billy, and he was the meanest and largest of the goats. He was always the one that made the big decisions of the group, because he was the oldest. The middle goat's name was Silly, and he was rather dumb. Tilly was the youngest and sweetest of the three. You wouldn't expect it, but she was the smartest one in the group. The three goats always traveled together, never parting.
One day, while the goats were out walking, they came across a bridge. When they started to cross it, a toll jumped out from underneath it. He was small, covered in warts and hair, and smelly. The goats cringed back at the sight of him, and he laughed. “You shall not pass.” he said. The goats were confused.
“Why not?” asked Silly, in his normal goofy voice. The troll laughed and took a step towards them. The goats backed away, and Silly continued, “We want to see what's on the other side.”
“You must answer three questions in order to pass. If you can not answer all three, I get to eat you.” The troll laughed again, and Billy Goat stepped forward.
“I am the smartest, and oldest, of the three. I will answer your questions without trouble.” he stomped his foot and snorted. The troll hopped joyfully and began to ask his questions.
“What is your name?” the troll croaked.
“Billy Goat.” Billy proudly projected his answer to the troll. The troll lifted an eyebrow,
“What is your favorite color?” he said and grinned at Billy.
“Easy, it's blue.” Billy Goat huffed, “These questions are easy, I thought I would be presented with more of a challenge, I guess I was wrong.” The troll looked only slightly offended, then grinned again.
“You want a challenge, eh?” he chuckled, “I'll give you a challenge. What is the square root of pie?” Billy immediately looked terrified, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Math was not his good subject in school, he didn't even know his basic times tables. He thought hard and long, but he took too long. The troll gave an evil laugh and said, “Was that enough of a challenge for you?” Billy began to sweat, and the troll snapped his fingers. Billy Goat fell to the ground, dead. “Who's next.” the troll laughed.
Silly Goat decided to take a turn, so he stepped forward. “I have decided to try.” He announced with great pride, and the troll smiled.
“What is your name dear goat?” he ask, and Silly paused for a moment. He bit his lip, and thought really hard.
“My name is Dilly Goat.” he responded. The troll's jaw dropped, then let out a loud laugh and snapped his fingers.
“Gone after the first question,” he howled, “I can't believe it. You little goat will surely lose. Shall I go on to finish this before it starts?” Tilly Goat just looked up at the troll with an emotionless face.
“No sir, I actually could care less about what's over the bridge. I want to go home.” Tilly innocently replied. The troll was a little caught off guard by the response, usually people what to know.
“Oh, is that so?” the troll asked. Tilly Goat just nodded her little head at him.
“I'm really tired mister. I think I'll just go. I'm not dumb enough to risk my life.” and she turned and walked away from the confused troll. His confusion was short lived, as he caught the figures of the dead goats in the corner of his eye.
“At least I've got two goats.” he said to himself, quite pleased.
Once upon a time, there were three billy goats. The oldest was named Billy, and he was the meanest and largest of the goats. He was always the one that made the big decisions of the group, because he was the oldest. The middle goat's name was Silly, and he was rather dumb. Tilly was the youngest and sweetest of the three. You wouldn't expect it, but she was the smartest one in the group. The three goats always traveled together, never parting.
One day, while the goats were out walking, they came across a bridge. When they started to cross it, a toll jumped out from underneath it. He was small, covered in warts and hair, and smelly. The goats cringed back at the sight of him, and he laughed. “You shall not pass.” he said. The goats were confused.
“Why not?” asked Silly, in his normal goofy voice. The troll laughed and took a step towards them. The goats backed away, and Silly continued, “We want to see what's on the other side.”
“You must answer three questions in order to pass. If you can not answer all three, I get to eat you.” The troll laughed again, and Billy Goat stepped forward.
“I am the smartest, and oldest, of the three. I will answer your questions without trouble.” he stomped his foot and snorted. The troll hopped joyfully and began to ask his questions.
“What is your name?” the troll croaked.
“Billy Goat.” Billy proudly projected his answer to the troll. The troll lifted an eyebrow,
“What is your favorite color?” he said and grinned at Billy.
“Easy, it's blue.” Billy Goat huffed, “These questions are easy, I thought I would be presented with more of a challenge, I guess I was wrong.” The troll looked only slightly offended, then grinned again.
“You want a challenge, eh?” he chuckled, “I'll give you a challenge. What is the square root of pie?” Billy immediately looked terrified, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Math was not his good subject in school, he didn't even know his basic times tables. He thought hard and long, but he took too long. The troll gave an evil laugh and said, “Was that enough of a challenge for you?” Billy began to sweat, and the troll snapped his fingers. Billy Goat fell to the ground, dead. “Who's next.” the troll laughed.
Silly Goat decided to take a turn, so he stepped forward. “I have decided to try.” He announced with great pride, and the troll smiled.
“What is your name dear goat?” he ask, and Silly paused for a moment. He bit his lip, and thought really hard.
“My name is Dilly Goat.” he responded. The troll's jaw dropped, then let out a loud laugh and snapped his fingers.
“Gone after the first question,” he howled, “I can't believe it. You little goat will surely lose. Shall I go on to finish this before it starts?” Tilly Goat just looked up at the troll with an emotionless face.
“No sir, I actually could care less about what's over the bridge. I want to go home.” Tilly innocently replied. The troll was a little caught off guard by the response, usually people what to know.
“Oh, is that so?” the troll asked. Tilly Goat just nodded her little head at him.
“I'm really tired mister. I think I'll just go. I'm not dumb enough to risk my life.” and she turned and walked away from the confused troll. His confusion was short lived, as he caught the figures of the dead goats in the corner of his eye.
“At least I've got two goats.” he said to himself, quite pleased.